During my walk this morning, I noticed a beautiful feather in my pathway, and picked it up, knowing it was a gift from my Beloved to remind me of His love for me. (You can read about my first feather in Bouquets from My Beloved). Then I saw another and another and another all very close together, and I suddenly knew that the donar, one of our lake ducks, probably had been killed last night by a fox, or racoon. I wanted to throw the feathers away, feeling almost guilty that I should be blessed by an act of violence and loss of life. Then, I heard the soft voice of the Holy Spirit saying to me,"This is a picture of how I use the hard and often tragic events in your life for good for you".
I realized how true this is. In fact it is often the suffering in my life that leads me to seek Him desperately, and that is always answered by resurrection in some way in my life, just as dead leaves, when piled up together with a little soil added makes great mulch for the new plants to grown in. What a wonderful Creator we have! Nothing is wasted or without value.
I picked up all the feathers (about 5) and held them close to my cheek and neck and brought them home to add to my collection of precious and valuable gifts from the Bridegroom.

For such a time as this

I marvel sometimes, that God would pick this time in my life to use me in a more publicway. I'm over 70; the internet and I have very tenuous relationship; my social community tends to be over the half century mark; my energy is often limited; and the complaints go on and on. Don't get me wrong, my Lord, I love to talk to others about Your passionate and exhilerating love for each of us, and share the ways You continually reveal that to me each day. It's just such a scary journey into the unknown to get that message out beyond my own friends, family, and church and into cyber space.
Today, I've literally spent hours reading blogs with marketing ideas for my book, Bouquets from My Beloved, and my head is swimming and I'm paralyzed with fear at the immensity of the unknown and unfamiliar tasks involved. Facebook launching, networking sites, and dozens of other terms that have faded already from my memory are to me like reading a NASA catalogue. Even with step by step instructions, I wither at the thought of trying to merge the action recommended with the actuality of the website. If you're over 50, you understand.
It seemed to me that the Lord, my Beloved, said very quietly, "How about your two blogs? You haven't updated them for months." So that is why I'm here right now, committed to starting again something that I at least know how to do.
Isn't that the way it always is with Him? We cry and complain and stamp our feet, and when we're really desperate, we cry out, "Lord, I can't do this!!" And He quietly says, "I know; just do what you can, and I'll do the rest." And peace and joy flood my soul again. My Bridegroom has once again come to my rescue. He has seen my despair. He knows my limits. He knows my willing heart. He knows I have no choice but to turn it over to Him, and do my best at what I can do. Maybe that's why He waited until I was old enough to have learned this lesson well before. It just always seems like the first time again.